Men unfortunately have opinions about everything (just kidding), and their number one concern happens to be a woman’s appearance! (again just “kidding”) We all know they have opinions on how we dress, how much makeup we wear, and of course our hair.
I asked a few men to answer some questions for me regarding their thoughts on black women and their hair. They’re all black, in their twenties, and living in the U.S.! The answers might surprise you…
What is your favorite hairstyle on a woman? (can include braids, locs, buns, weave, wigs etc)
Guy 1: My favorite hairstyle on a woman is an afro or curly hair. I love natural hair more than anything else to be honest lol
Guy 2: My favorite hairstyle would be anything in an up-do. A plus if she’s wearing big door knocker earrings.
Guy 3: My favorite hairstyle on a woman is anything natural primarily braids and locs . I really don’t care for straight long hair I think its basic and not memorable.
How are you currently wearing your hair? (low, curly, waves)
Guy 1: Currently, my hair is curly, I typically like to keep my hair short with waves.
Guy 2: I got the waves on spin mode right now.
Guy 3: I currently have a low hair cut as I have my entire life my mom said you don’t look nice with hair you look nice with low hair so I agreed and have been following that blueprint my entire life.
Scenario: Your girlfriend/friend lets you know that today at the gym someone said she looked like Frederick Douglas because of her natural hair. She is visibly upset and annoyed. What advice/counsel do you give her? How does this comment make you feel?
Guy 1: I would ask her if she wants me to run up on them first of all. lol I would tell her not to worry about what they say because they are beautiful. They need to stop hating on them. Everybody has different taste and I guess that person didn’t like the natural hair. It was unnecessary input about something that doesn’t concern them so don’t get fed up with someone’s opinion who doesn’t matter.
Guy 2: First of all, LMAO!! I’ll tell her that it’s okay and give her a back rub. Some stranger’s opinion at the gym shouldn’t even be relevant if it’s not positive. Personally though, that comment is hilarious.
Guy 3: My first response is to let her know that how people feel about her looks is none of her business. I would want to know who said it to her a male or a female and what race the person was. I would also advise her not to take this as an insult… Douglass just has his natural hair grown out, I would advise her to love her natural hair. I would implore her to empathize with people who look at black peoples hair as a burden because they are misinformed and sadly conditioned by eurocentric societal standards.
If you are in a relationship, do you think you should be consulted about a “big chop”? (Your partner cutting off all her hair, leaving her with a small afro OR hair the same length as yours.)
Guy 1: If I am in a relationship, yes I want to be consulted about the big chop. I feel like that is a big thing, and I would consult my girlfriend too if I wanted to go bald or some physical change like that. But at the end of the day, if I love you with lots of hair on your head I’ll still love you after the big chop.
Guy 2: It’ll be nice for a heads up but it’s not needed at all. I might even have some secret tips to help the process.
Guy 3: I think there are levels to the big chop, cutting hair down to an Afro is not up to anyone but the person with the hair, the big chop to a light ceaser is a little more intense a bald head warrants the significant other being informed. I don’t think any man should be asked about for consent when a woman wants to change her hair but I think it would be polite to inform the man about your chop before you do it.
What are some stereotypes you think men have of women with natural hair?
Guy 1: Uninformed men may think because your hair may be 4c or 4b that you aren’t taking care of it but in reality, this is what you were born with. I’ve heard it all and even called out people who will say foolishness like “Do you even wash your hair” or “Did you do your hair this morning“? Some men see women with natural hair and are clueless to the point where they don’t know it’s done. We live in a westernized world where women of color feel at a disadvantage even in some job interviews because of there natural hair and I hate that. I’m babbling now but you feel me.
Guy 2: Women with natural hair and a septum are annoying and will gang up on you on Twitter and call you ashy.
They also probably use that rock deodorant.
Guy 3: The stereotypes men have of women with natural hair are often silly and baseless. The stereotypes are often about her smelling like cocoa butter and having hair under her arms and /or legs. The natural hair is associated with being extremely natural things like not using deodorant are often brought up. Often the natural hair stereotypes stem into a perceived lifestyle something a kin to Erykah Badu.