The Most Important Relationship You Will Ever Have…

Once you get to a certain age you start to understand sayings like “life will chew you up and spit you out”. Its rough out here and a large part of maneuvering adulthood is figuring out how you can stay above water especially mentally.

You can always depend on others to be harsh towards you. People lack boundaries and can spew a lot of negativity onto you (most times for things you didn’t even ask their opinion on!) With all the trash you get from the outside, you have to protect your mental.

Now take a minute to think about the voice inside your head. What would you describe it as? This is super important.

family time wtf GIF by Bounce

 

If you’re anything like me it’s helpful but a bit harsh. I question myself often to the tune of “why did you make that dumb decision”, “why did you let that person waste your time?”, “why cant you be successful at this thing“. Sound familiar?

What I’m really trying to ask  is are you your own friend or your own enemy?

How do you treat a friend? You check in,  encourage them, feed them positivity when they need it, space to vent, etc.
How do you treat an enemy? You bash them when you can, highlight their imperfections, talk about what they “should” be doing, and even worse.
Which one of these is the voice inside your head?

The purpose of this blog post is for me to encourage you to be a safe haven for yourself! When you go through a tough situation treat yourself how you would treat a friend. Think about what would make you feel better in the moment and if that’s healthy or not, identifying triggers and how you could avoid them next time, allowing yourself space to not be perfect (how you would like to appear on the outside.)

The relationship you have with yourself is what is most important. Spend less time thinking about the other persons actions and more time thinking about you. It’s sounds cliche but seriously when was the last time you thought about you? No not in a vain arrogant way, but in a way of “how am I doing?” Be nice to yourself. No not “self care”, that’s something different. Being compassionate to yourself to me looks like allowing my self space not to be perfect. Giving myself a few days to be out of it, disconnect, and reflect. I had an experience where I felt like I made a huge mistake trusting someone and I was really upset about the situation. However the thoughts I was having about myself were so negative I was emotionally draining myself! I had to really take a look and ask myself- ok where are these thoughts coming from and why? It was me. Why? No clue. Who taught me to be this harsh on myself? (another blog post for another day).

sad naomi campbell GIF

Through the conduit of “you are allowed to make mistakes”, “real life is going through experiences and learning from them”, and “nobody else is perfect. why are you expecting perfection from everything you do”, I was able to change my perspective and turn myself around. 

I hope reading this causes you to reevaluate your inner dialogue. Thoughts and words truly do manifest into real things so we should be careful to only put positive vibes out there. You are gonna be stuck with you for the rest for your life so maybe you want to make an intentional effort to edit the way you speak to yourself daily? 

I would love to hear your thoughts on this and how you’ve been handling your inner voice!

2 thoughts on “The Most Important Relationship You Will Ever Have…

  1. I enjoyed this article. For me it serves as a reminder that I am not the only one who has crazy, detrimental thoughts running around in my head. Your tips on how to combat them are right one. I too wholeheartedly believe in the power of positive self talk. When those negative things creep in, and they do – alot, I disprove why those things are so false!! Here’s a post I wrote a little while ago.

    https://jonquilbasswoods.com/2019/04/12/it-happened-again/

    Check it out when you have some time.

    Like

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