Once you get to a certain age you start to understand sayings like “life will chew you up and spit you out”. Its rough out here and a large part of maneuvering adulthood is figuring out how you can stay above water, especially mentally.
You can always depend on others to be harsh towards you. People lack boundaries and can spew a lot of negativity onto you (most times for things you didn’t even ask their opinion on!) With all the trash you get from the outside, you have to protect your mental.
Now take a minute to think about the voice inside your head. What would you describe it as? This is super important.
If you’re anything like me it’s helpful but a bit harsh. I question myself often to the tune of “why did you make that dumb decision”, “why did you let that person waste your time?”, “why cant you be successful at this thing“. Sound familiar?
What I’m really trying to ask is are you your own friend or your own enemy?
The purpose of this blog post is for me to encourage you to be a safe haven for yourself! When you go through a tough situation treat yourself how you would treat a friend. Think about what would make you feel better in the moment and if that’s healthy or not, identifying triggers and how you could avoid them next time, allowing yourself space to not be perfect (how you would like to appear on the outside.)
The relationship you have with yourself is what is most important. Spend less time thinking about the other persons actions and more time thinking about you. It’s sounds cliche but seriously when was the last time you thought about you? No not in a vain arrogant way, but in a way of “how am I doing?” Be nice to yourself. No not “self care”, that’s something different. Being compassionate to yourself to me looks like allowing my self space not to be perfect. Giving myself a few days to be out of it, disconnect, and reflect. I had an experience where I felt like I made a huge mistake trusting someone and I was really upset about the situation. However the thoughts I was having about myself were so negative I was emotionally draining myself! I had to really take a look and ask myself- ok where are these thoughts coming from and why? It was me. Why? No clue. Who taught me to be this harsh on myself? (another blog post for another day).
Through the conduit of “you are allowed to make mistakes”, “real life is going through experiences and learning from them”, and “nobody else is perfect. why are you expecting perfection from everything you do”, I was able to change my perspective and turn myself around.